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60 Seconds the Musical is a song made by Random Encounters based on the game, 60 Seconds!

Cast

AJ Pinkerton as Ted

Nathan "Nate" Morse as Timmy and Mary Jane (on green screen when Timmy is in same scene)

Gwendolyn "Gwen" Pinkerton as Dolores

Lyrics[1]

Radio: The airdrop is broadcasting this emergency message. The Soviets are attacking America. I repeat. The Soviets are attacking America. You have 60 seconds to get into your bunker.

[Ted looks at the newspaper]

Ted: 60 seconds till the Commies arrive!

I gotta… round up my family

And everything needed to survive-

60 seconds… till Soviets are kicking down our door!


60 seconds! Better make ‘em all count!

I gotta grab cans of soup in sufficient amounts-

I’ve got my son and my daughter,

And lots of bottled water for us four…


…four? One… two… three… DOLORES-!


30 seconds till the world goes to heck!

We should’ve…. Moved someplace safer,

Like Montreal or maybe Quebec…

Who am I kidding? There’s Communists in Canada as well!


30 seconds till the end of my life!

To find a… map and a gun, and to wrangle my wife!

It’s time to hunker down! The bunker’s down

where bombs can’t reach or breach our shelter’s shell!


Ted: Well, now that we’re down here,

let’s try to stay calm-

Dolores: -The Communists blew up

Our house with a bomb!


Ted: Yes, kind of uncalled for,

But we’ll still make it through this.

Although Russia tried to crush us,

still the fact is, they blew this.


The Reds want us dead,

and they’re certain we’re hurtin’.

They’d like to bury us quick

In their thick iron curtain.


If we hide here inside here,

we’re just askin’ for atrophy.

We’ll fall catatonic.

In this atomic catastrophe!


All: What’s one more day of life without the sky or trees?

Dolores: What’s one more night of fighting through a strange disease?


All: What’s one more week of woe? It’s just the status quo…

Time passes super slow… What’s one more day?


Ted: Our rations are low,

So let’s go do some browsing.

We’ll start with a trip

To the retirement housing.


See, seniors are hoarders,

And filthy dang rich!

Old people are mean, kids,

And karma’s a b-…ad word…


Way to go, Timmy,

You’re another year older!

We got you a med kit

to patch up that shoulder!


Mary Jane: The roaches are glowing,

And their color’s not quite right…

Timmy: -They look like they might bite-

Ted: -They’re just like your night light!


Dolores: Ted, have some soup, Dear,

It’s much more nutritious-

Mary Jane: -What is Dad doing?

Ted: -These shrooms are delicious!


It’s dank, to be frank…

Maybe ranks as a junker,

But no commie’s gonna bomb me

In the comfort of my bunker!


All: What’s one more day of starving in a concrete hole?

Mary Jane: What’s twenty years to life in here without parole?


All: What’s one less can of soup?  To feed our whole dang group?

Ted: What smells like sh- er, poop? 

All: What’s one more day?


Ted: -Somebody get that!


Dolores: Ted, this is crazy!

Ted: Dolores, relax!

A man’s gotta shave;

All we’ve got is an axe…


Timmy: I’ll see who’s calling-

Ted: Now that’s a superb goal.

Dolores: Ted, dear-

Ted: -What is it?!

Dolores: -Our daughter is purple…


Timmy: Dad, it’s for you-

Ted: Huh?

Timmy: They’re in quite a tizzy.

It’s some folks from Hill Valley calling-

Ted: -Tell them I’m busy!


Timmy: The gun’s out of ammo,

But we’re lucky I brought it.

Something was growling,

but it’s dead now - I shot it.


Dolores: Forty days in.

Time again to take stock:

Timmy’s partially dead,

Ted is friends with a sock…


Mary Jane’s hungry-

Mary Jane: -Mommy, play us a chorus!

...

Ted: You’re really killing it, Dolores…


All: What’s one more day of waiting for the world to end?

What’s one more night compared to all the weeks we’ve spent?


What’s one last afternoon to cough and barf and swoon-

Who cares!  We’re dying soon!  What’s one more day-


Radio: Attention citizens, it is now safe to get back in your bunker.

All: Just one more day!

One more day!

[Ted climbs ladder]

Ted: Darly jee, what is this h-

[The Beard boooohs. It eats sandwich]

References

<ref>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCC9-ZBsUWw
  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCC9-ZBsUWw
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