60 Seconds the Musical is a song made by Random Encounters based on the game, 60 Seconds!
AJ Pinkerton as Ted
Gwendolyn "Gwen" Pinkerton as Dolores
Radio: We interrupt this broadcast for an emergency message. Soviets are attacking America. Repeat. The Soviets are a mere 60 seconds from dropping an atom bomb...
[Ted looks at the newspaper and then stands up]
Ted: Timmy! Mary Jane! Dolores! ...Agh! [trips over the footrest]
Ted: 60 seconds till the Commies arrive!
I gotta… round up my family
And everything needed to survive-
60 seconds… till Soviets are kicking down our door!
60 seconds! Better make ‘em all count!
I gotta grab cans of soup in sufficient amounts-
I’ve got my son and my daughter
And lots of bottled water for us four…
…four? One… two… three…
30 seconds till the world goes to heck!
We should’ve…. Moved someplace safer
Like Montreal or maybe Quebec…
Who am I kidding? There’s Communists in Canada as well!
30 seconds till the end of my life!
To find a… map and a gun, and to wrangle my wife!
It’s time to hunker down! The bunker’s down
where bombs can’t reach or breach our shelter’s shell!
Ted: Well, now that we’re down here, let’s try to stay calm-
Dolores: Uh, The Communists blew up our house with a bomb!
Ted: Yeah, kind of uncalled for, but we’ll still make it through this.
Although Russia tried to crush us, still the fact is, they blew this.
The Reds want us dead, and they’re certain we’re hurtin’.
They’d like to bury us quick in their thick iron curtain.
If we hide here inside here, we’re just askin’ for atrophy.
We’ll fall catatonic in this atomic catastrophe!
All: What’s one more day of life without the sky or trees?
Dolores: What’s one more night of fighting through a strange disease?
All: What’s one more week of woe?
It’s just the status quo…
Time passes super slow…
What’s one more day?
Ted: Our rations are low, so let’s go do some browsing.
We’ll start with a trip to the retirement housing.
See, seniors are hoarders, and filthy dang rich!
Old people are mean, kids, and karma’s a-
[Dolores shakes her head at Ted]
Ted: -a bad word...
Dolores: Way to go, Timmy, you’re another year older!
We got you a med kit to patch up that shoulder!
Mary Jane: The roaches are glowing, and their color’s not quite right…
Timmy: They look like they might bite-
Ted: They’re just like your night light!
Dolores: Ted, have some soup, Dear, it’s much more nutritious-
Mary Jane: What is Dad doing?
Ted: These shrooms are delicious!
It’s dank, to be frank, maybe ranks as a junker
But no Commie’s gonna bomb me in the comfort of my bunker!
All: What’s one more day of starving in a concrete hole?
Mary Jane: What’s twenty years to life in here without parole?
All: What’s one less can of soup? To feed our whole dang group?
Ted: What smells like sh- er, poop?
All: What’s one more day?
Ted: Somebody get that!
Dolores: Ted, this is crazy!
Ted: Dolores, relax!
A man’s gotta shave; all we’ve got is an a-
Timmy: I’ll see who’s calling-
Ted: Now that’s a superb goal.
Dolores: Ted, dear?
Ted: What is it?!
Dolores: Our daughter is purple…
Timmy: Dad, it’s for you-
Timmy: They’re in quite a tizzy.
It’s some folks from Hill Valley calling-
Ted: Tell them I’m busy!
Timmy: The gun’s out of ammo, but we’re lucky I brought it
Something was growling, but it’s dead now -
I shot it.
Dolores: Forty days in. Time again to take stock:
Timmy’s partially dead, Ted is friends with a sock…
Mary Jane’s hungry-
Timmy: -Mommy, play us a chorus!
[Dolores plays the harmonica]
Ted: You’re really killing it, Dolores…
All: What’s one more day of waiting for the world to end?
What’s one more night compared to all the weeks we’ve spent?
What’s one last afternoon
To cough and barf and swoon-
Who cares. We’re dying soon.
What’s one more day-
Radio: Attention citizens, it is now safe to leave your bunker.
All: Just one more day!
One more day!
[Ted climbs ladder and bangs on the shelter door]
Ted: What the? Hey, somebody let us out! Hello?! Oh, darn it! Godly Je-
[The Beard boooohs. It eats a sandwich]