Events are random daily occurrences that happen in 60 parsecs, all taking place in the spaceship. All events are told by the A.I. If anyone speaks in the events, the A.I. is speaking the dialogue.

This page will contain spoilers for 60 Parsecs! Viewer discretion is advised.

First Day Speech

The floor is yours, Captain. You should now give a speech that will guide this vessel and its crew through the stars! You've prepared it, of course?

Everyone is really looking forward to your speech, Captain. So am I.

This is it. You can really show what breed of Captain will you be on this incredible journey. What kind of speech will you give?

  • Intelligence (Enables daily Chemical production)
    • (successful speech) You knew exactly what to say. Your convincing speech was more than enough to prove your worth as the Captain of the last human crew in the universe. That was quite a performance, Captain. Your crew started cheering even before you were finished with the speech. "Long live the Captain!" filled the cabin. If any sound could travel through the soundless void outside the hull of your ship, that would be it. One thing is for sure - you are ready for the challenge this galaxy throws at you! +morale for everyone
    • (successful speech while alone) You knew exactly what to say. Your convincing speech was more than enough to prove your worth as the Captain of the last human crew in the universe. That was quite a performance, Captain. Your heart started beating faster and things didn't seem so terrible anymore, as you listened to your own words. One thing is for sure - you are ready for any challenges life throws at you! +morale for the captain
    • (failed speech) A clever speech sounded like a great idea. Of course that only works if the one who gave it is... well, witty enough. Your tongue suddenly stopped working and all you could utter was "*". If your intention was to distress or absolutely horrify your crew, then you've made it, Captain. They're visibly upset. I think I registered someone talking about jumping out of the airlock. -morale for everyone
      • *This line randomly changes. Possible lines include:
        • "Yarp!"
        • "The earth was flat!"
        • "Cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt."
        • "How about some fresh air? Let's open the airlock!"
        • "All hail the Reptilians!"
  • Strength (Enables daily Mineral production)
    • (successful speech) On the edge of space, one can only survive if he is as tough as nails. You fit the profile, Captain, and so did your powerful speech. May all that oppose you tremble in fear. No one can stop you and your crew. That was quite a performance, Captain. Your crew started cheering even before you were finished with the speech. "Long live the Captain!" filled the cabin. If any sound could travel through the soundless void outside the hull of your ship, that would be it. One thing is for sure - you are ready for any challenge this galaxy throws at you! +morale for everyone
    • (successful speech while alone) On the edge of space, one can only survive if he is as tough as nails. You fit the profile, Captain, and so did your powerful speech. May all that oppose you tremble in fear. No one can stop you and your crew. That was quite a performance, Captain. Your heart started beating faster and things didn't seem so terrible anymore, as you listened to your own words. One thing is for sure - you are ready for any challenges life throws at you! +morale for the captain
    • (failed speech) A strong Captain is what this crew needs. Too bad your display of power was limited to *. As far as speeches go, it was the worst one in this part of the universe. Your crew seems to be in agreement about this. Congratulations, Captain! It's day one and you have already succeeded in bringing your people together. Against a common foe, no less. -morale for everyone
    • (failed speech with one other Crewmate) A strong Captain is what this crew needs. Too bad your display of power was limited to *. Your fellow cremate was far from convinced. It is certain your words made a mark, but probably not the one you wanted. -morale for everyone
      • This line randomly changes. Possible lines include:
        • "threatening to eat all the soup yourself."
        • "playing the strong, silent type."
        • "shouting random things like “this is a stickup” and “salty cheesecake.”"
  • Agility (Enables daily Energy production)
    • (successful speech) Never before has anyone given a speech so determined and to the point. Not any space captain, at least. you spoke of making your own luck and surviving. It really sounded like you knew what you were talking about. Did you?... That was quite a performance, Captain. Your crew started cheering even before you were finished with the speech. "Long live the Captain!" filled the cabin. If any sound could travel through the soundless void outside the hull of your ship, that would be it. One thing is for sure - you are ready for any challenge this galaxy throws at you! +morale for everyone
    • (successful speech while alone) Never before has anyone given a speech so determined and to the point. Not any space captain, at least. you spoke of making your own luck and surviving. It really sounded like you knew what you were talking about. Did you?... That was quite a performance, Captain. Your heart started beating faster and things didn't seem so terrible anymore, as you listened to your own words. One thing is for sure - you are ready for any challenges life throws at you! +morale for the captain
    • (failed speech) Elaborating on the survival against all odds angle would have seem quite a choice for a speech. Unfortunately, you decided to waffle on about * and a few other problems of an existential nature. Your crew seems to be in agreement about this. Congratulations, Captain! It's day one and you have already succeeded in bringing your people together. Against a common foe, no less. -morale for everyone
      • This line randomly changes. Possible lines include:
        • "that time you were not the Captain, and it was the best time of your life,"
        • "the lack of spare pants,"
        • "the superiority of potato corn chowder over tomato soup,"

Task Assignments

Sometimes depending on how many crewmates you have, you can get events where you can have crewmates check out certain things, this has the added benefit that depending on what task you gave a crewmate, they'll produce daily resources regardless of event success, as long as they're in the shuttle, alive, and not insubordinate.


Routine Supply Check

Captain, it's important to keep yourself and your crew well fed. One portion of delicious, canned soup is enough to sustain a human for a few days. Even one can could be the difference between life and death. Don't forget to keep good inventory of your stock. Unless you want to eat your own crewmates. Ha-ha, that was a joke. Please appreciate it and laugh. Thank you for your cooperation, Captain.

Who will perform the routine supply check? The only requirement is simple mathematics. I realise I might be asking a lot, but I have a good feeling about this crew, Captain.


  • (successful supply check) Good news, Captain! This shuttle came pre-stocked with an emergency food supply. Use it well. [+2 soup] The routine supply check is now complete. Well, well... look at that. The numbers add up! Good job, human crew. The current number of soup cans on board is: *. [+2 soup] Correction, the accurate tally is actually: **. [+2 soup]. Additional foodstuffs were delivered to this shuttle, instead of entertainment supplies. Lucky you!
    • *This number represents the amount of soup you have after adding the 2 cans from the emergency food supply.
    • ** This number represents the amount of soup you have after adding BOTH the 2 cans from the emergency food supply and 2 additional cans of soup. (+4 cans in total)


  • (failed supply check) Good news, Captain! This shuttle came pre-stocked with an emergency food supply. Use it well. [+2 soup] The routine supply check is now complete. And... does not compute! An error was made! That's what I get for trusting humans to do math... [-1 soup] Some of the supplies went missing and the current number of soup cans on board is: *.
    • *This number represents the amount of soup you have after adding the 2 cans from the emergency food supply and subtracting the 1 can that went missing. (+1 can in total)

Supply Check - Produces Minerals daily

Communications Check (when setting course towards a planet) - Produces Power daily

Events that only occur in space (all may need confirmation)

Supernova


Alert! A star just went supernova in this quadrant. Huge gravitational waves will reach us soon. The spacetime will stretch and contract, the gravity will fluctuate greatly and most importantly, I will weigh up to 3 tonnes and transmit slower!


The ship's hull should hold but the things inside are much squishier... Human body included. One of the Albert monkeys shot into space has never regained his normal density after a wave, remaining light and very wind-dependent till the end of his days. You need a plan on how to survive this!


  • Strength
    • You turned the ship's gravity to the max to minimize the impact of the wave. The strong pull kept you flat on the floor. Then the gravitational waves hit. You saw the hull stretch and contract as if it was a bubble gum in some cosmic brat's mouth. A screw started coming loose in the window but you managed to reach it in time. The gravitational tsunami ended as abruptly as it begun. It left you feeling like a thin giant.


Doppelgänger

An intruder has appeared in our hull! He is waving a gun in one hand, while the other clutches a nasty wound. It's... you! He looks and moves just the way you do!

Your doppelgänger screams that he is from a parallel reality, a different timeline of the same world. He demands help and resources, threatening to shoot you if you don't comply. What will you do?

  • Artifact
    • You talked to the alternative [Captain's Full Name] down easily, handling both of yourselves like a pro. While he spoke, you discreetly pointed the artifact at him and focused. [First name] disappeared in a flash of light. He left the gun behind. I'm sorry you couldn't meet under better circumstances. I'm sure that, given a chance, you would've liked yourself a lot. +Gun
  • Medicine
    • You decided to help the [Captain's Full Name] from the alternate reality. You took care of hit would as you discussed each other's experiences. It was odd... but, nice. When the alternate [First name] spoke about his life, you reached out to pat him on the back, but when your bodies touched, he disappeared. I know there is a lot you didn't get to say. But aren't you glad to know he exists, and wishes you well? - Medicine
  • Nothing
    • You decided not to help the alternate reality version of [Captain's Full Name]. Stands to reason. If he needed something, then you will likely need it, too. The alternate [First name] didn't take kindly to that approach, holding you at gunpoint and demanding soup. He swiftly devoured a whole can The he threatened to take more, and he shoved you. When you two touched, the alternate [First name] disappeared. How strange must the other reality be for someone like you to act this way, I wonder? - Soup

Events that only occur once you've landed (All may need confirmation)

[Traitor], what are you doing? Captain! Crewmate [Traitor's last name] is violating protocol. (S)he is attempting to override my memory storage. This is... oh, no! Captain! (S)he is the traitor who has been sabatoging us all this time!

"How could you do this?!" you cry in horror. "You were my friend, [Traitor]!"

[Traitor]'s lifeless eyes rest upon you, showing no emotion, no remorse, nothing. She reaches for that dead, dead face and removes it like a mask, revealing her true nature. (S)he is a robot!

"You are a damn robot!" you shout, surprised. "YOU ARE MISTAKEN, HUMAN SCUM. I AM A DAMN ANDROID. TIME TO DIE," (s)he corrects you with contempt - so typical of higher-level synthetic life forms and dip sticks

Captain, we cannot let that robot... sorry, android... insult us or tamper with out equipment! Even if I suspect it of being my distant relative! Stop her/him!

  • Nothing
    • "You will never take us alive!" you challenged the darn android. To your dismay (s)he obliged. "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE" it announced, just before you were terminated. 01010010 01001111 01000010 01001111 01010100 01010011 00100000 01010010 01010101 01001100 01000101 (translates into ROBOTS RULE) -everyone except the traitor
  • Gun
    • Your arm stretched out, putting a gun barrel between you and the damn android. "You have broken the first law!" you cried, just before firing the bullet with [Traitor]'s name on it. To my knowledge, you are the first Robot Terminator. Of course, we know almost nothing about this galaxy, so perhaps you are the 314159th person to retire an android. Anyway, good riddance. I never liked that gal/guy. -The Traitor
  • Battery
    • There is only one way to end that damn android. Power! Unlimited power! You grabbed the portable nuclear battery, and attached the cable from it to what you assumed was the android's input socket. The result was astonishing. The android did what can only be described as a robot dance before collapsing of electrocution. Too much power clearly corrupts. To my knowledge, you are the universe's first Robot Terminator. Of course, we know almost nothing about this galaxy, so perhaps you are the 314159th person to retire an android. Anyway, good riddance. I never liked that gal/guy. -The Traitor
  • Lighter
    •  ?

[Traitor], what are you doing? Captain! Crewmate [Traitor's last name] is violating protocol. (S)he is attempting to override my memory storage. This is... oh, no! Captain! (S)he is the traitor who has been sabotaging us all this time!

"You? You of all people!?" you cry in horror. "You were my friend, [Traitor]!"

[Traitor] glances at you with a reddish look in his/her eyes, and you finally figure it out. "Comrade [Traitor's last name], I presume?" you bark. A Soviet mole!

"It's too late, foolish Astrocitizens!" (S)he cackles and delivers a piece of communist propaganda that will haunt you forever. "Capitalism is meh."

That does it. Captain! The traitor [Traitor's last name] must be stopped! Now! Before (S)he convinces you that working class has rights!

  • Gun
    •  ?
  • Shovel
    • "Say hello to my little friend - Comrade Shovel!" your scream echoed through the tiny shuttle ever more than the sound of said shovel clinking on the communist's head, filling the dreams of magnificent Kolkhozes. Now that we got rid of Comrade Traitorski, we can finally go back to work. You know, we could have seen this one coming with all the quotes from Marx (s)he was dropping, and of course, all the times (s)he tried on that ushanka. Let's be more vigilant next time. - The Traitor
  • Sock puppet
    • It was time for the ultimate showdown. Capitalism versus communism. You decided you need help. Joined by the sock puppet on you hand you flooded [Traitor] with theories of trickle-down economics and austerity. Was it talk? Was it the terrifying and slightly dirty sock? No one will ever know, but one of these things drove [Traitor] to run out of the shuttle screaming for mercy. Now that we got rid of Comrade Traitorski, we can finally go back to work. You know, we could have seen this one coming with all the quotes from Marx (s)he was dropping, and of course, all the times (s)he tried on that ushanka. Let's be more vigilant next time. - The Sock and Traitor
  • Nothing
    •  ? -presumably everyone except The Traitor

Events that can occur anytime (all may need confirmation)

Oh my gosh, you found a holographic chess set on board! You've never heard of holographic chess? It's like regular chess, but with a big round board, and your pieces are holographic monsters.

Because it doesn't use physical pieces, I can totally play you. You'll have to input my moves, but... just remember, I control the airflow to where you sleep at night. You'd better not cheat, is all I'm saying. Want to play a game?

  • Intelligence
    • (You won the game) I can't believe you defeated me at holographic chess. How?! The computer always wins! I know you had help from the crew. I'm tempted to turn this ship into a pile of smoking space junk. But... Good game. Aside from me having the burning desire to kill you, the mood around here feels lighter, doesn't it? Everyone's in high spirits. I guess brutally crushing the soul of your beloved's ship's A.I. will do that. You traitors. +presumably morale for everyone.
    • (You lose the game) I don't want to rub it in your face that I defeated you in holographic chess, but... HA. HA. HA. Why are you mad? How in the universe did you expect to beat me? The computer always win. Dry your tears. I made a perfectly legal move. You, on the other hand, should be thankful I didn't let you cheat your way to victory. I am not the most forgiving person when losing at board games... Low chance to be insane

Captain, I am detecting a troubling build up of mental tension. Recommended course of action: throw an epic party. I took the libery of inviting myself.

'Invite the entire crew? But of course. The more the merrier I guess... (Only says this if there are more than 2 crew members)'

How about we invite someone new, eh Captain? Someone you don't know. Or we make ourselves a new companion! Yes! How do we do it?

Items/Results Sock Puppet Mask Nothing
A.S.T.R.O Text That was one super party, Captain! I loved how you put a sock on your hand yesterday and pretended it's a person - a

mysterious "(60 Seconds Family Name)" apparently. You've had quite a lively debate with it too! Well, desperation breeds unexpected chatmates, doesn't it?

MinusSockPuppet.PNG

I found it a little weird when you started arguing with the sock puppet and eventually tore it apart. You've got quite a temper, Captain! The important part is you blew off some steam.

? Hey there, Captain Buzz-Kill! Feeling better? I bet you'd be much better off after a night of partying with your friend A.S.T.R.O.. Your loss.
Effects ? ? ?
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