Ted

Ted
General Information
Gender	Male ♂
Species	Human
Age	No precise age.
Hair Color	Black
Relatives	Timmy (son) Mary Jane (daughter) Dolores (wife)
Scavenge Mode
Inventory slots	3
Survival Mode
Items destroyed while Insane	Map, Water Bottle, a Soup Can, and Gas Mask.

Theodore “Ted” McDoodle is one of the main characters in 60 Seconds!. He is the husband of Dolores and the father of Mary Jane and Timmy.

Ted is one of the two playable characters in the scavenging section of 60 Seconds! and 60 Seconds! Reatomized. If Ted fails to reach the fallout shelter in time, he will dive to the floor and the player will be given the "The End" screen. This happens even if all other family members got into the shelter on time.

Ted has 4 slots to hold items when scavenging. Some things take up multiple slots, such as family members, the rifle, the suitcase, and the axe.

When Scavenging as Dolores, Ted will take 3 slots to carry, just like Mary Jane.

Appearance

Ted is American, with black hair and an overweight physique. He shows age, as overtime his beard and hair grow thicker and longer. He wears a white shirt, a swamp green overcoat, a swamp yellow tie, and gray trousers. He rests his head on his left arm when he's not tired. When insane, a sock puppet will appear on Ted's left hand (it will have a stitch if Ted is also fatigued and will have bandages if Ted is also injured), and it will eventually convince him to leave the shelter. When dead, he will be a skeleton slumped over the table. In the 60 Seconds! promo, he wears a white shirt, brown pants, and black shoes, as well as wearing a chef hat and a white Apron.

Ted's deaths

By Dehydration:

• Too many days without water took their toll. Ted died of dehydration. (Ted died)

By Starvation:

• There are only so many days a man can survive without food. Ted was strong, but it was too much for him. He starved to death. (Ted died)

By Sickness:

• Ted has been sick for far too long, and he was too weak to keep going. He passed away in his sleep. (Ted died)

By Injuries:

• Ted's wounds were too serious to leave untreated. They became infected and took Ted's life. (Ted died)

By Insanity:

• Ted could not resist the madness that was consuming him any longer. It seems that today, following the advice of his sock puppet, he left the bunker and went in an unknown direction, never to be seen again. We hope Ted, and his cruel puppet that took him away from us, will have lots of fun together... (Ted died)

During an Expedition:

• Ted has been outside for far too long, and still he has not returned. We fear he isn't coming back. (Ted died)

Events

Ted's Events:

Let Us Out!!!:

1. Breathe calmly. One, two, three. That's better. Don't panic. Don't panic. WE NEED TO OPEN THE DOOR THIS INSTANT OR WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! OPEN THE DOOR!!!

2. Claustrophobia is difficult to fight against. Especially in a little, cluttered bunker. Maybe if we could open the door for just a few minutes... let some air in...

Yes:

• Opening the door and letting contaminated air in was a great idea. Now, instead of phobias, we need to deal with vomiting. +Ted can get sick

No:

• Keeping the door closed was the right thing to do, but the tensions are rising in our tiny, little shelter. +Decreases a lot Ted's sanity

Ted's Automobile:

Today was an exciting day for Ted. All of a sudden, he found cars key in his back pocket. Has he been sitting on them this whole time... ? Anyway, it got him reminiscing about his favorite automobile and he's now worried about it being parked up for too long. Something tells us it's the least of its trouble at the moment, but Ted seems really eager to go out and turn the engine over.

Yes:

• Since Ted doesn't remember where he last parked the car, this could take a while. Hopefully he's back soon with good news. If the car still works... maybe we could all get out of here and drive somewhere safer? +Ted leaves temporarily the shelter

No:

• Come on, Ted, give it a rest. We can't even remember where it was parked before the blast! And even if we found it, what are the odds that it's still working? Forget it, our shiny, beautiful car is probably just a bunch of molten junk in a ditch somewhere. +Decreases Ted's sanity

Wasteland BBQ:

(If "Yes" was said on the event "Ted's Automobile") It's been a few days since Ted went to look for his car. We're getting a really worried now, especially since there have been loud thuds and shouting coming from above... maybe he got into some trouble? Should we take a peek outside?

Say Yes:

• Ted found something alright, but it wasn't his car. He stumbled upon a... BBQ party at our neighbor's burned down lawn. We recognized some faces in the small crowd of partygoers, but they all looked a bit particular. Gas masks, googles, spikes and a lot of leather everywhere. Was this a costume party? Anyway, we found Ted passed out in ditch near our shelter, smelling strongly of tomato and alcohol. So... tomato liquor? +Ted gets back +2 Soup +Increases Ted's sanity

Say No

• Just when we were about to give up on Ted altogether, he stumbled into the shelter, swaying around and carrying something on his back. He has completely forgotten about the car idea and instead joined in on some post-apocalyptic BBQ party right outside, complete with tomato liquor and grilled rats on stick. Ted smiled blissfully at the memory of rats-on-sticks, then proceeded to get sick on his own shoes. It looks like he had fun, though! +Ted gets back +1 Soup +Ted gets sick +Increases Ted's sanity

Shave Time!:

(If Ted's beard grew to its maximum):

1. Sure, times are hard, and there isn't much need to shave anymore, but beard are still not welcome in this house! Any means of cutting a beard is acceptable. Say... that axe looks quite sharp. Maybe it could help with some beard trimming?

2. We didn't pack any razors when came down to the shelter, and now some of us can be confused with a sasquatch. A good, sharp axe might be perfect replacement for a razor...

Use Axe:

1. With some skill, trimming a beard with an axe turned out to be both possible and quite relaxing. We should do it more often. +Increases Ted' sanity +Shave Ted's beard
2. Ouch. Turns out an axe is no good as a replacement for a razor. +Ted gets hurt

Use Nothing:

• No axe - no shave. Maybe another time.

Medic! We Need A Medic!:

(If Ted is hurt) Those wound hurt like the hell and they're not getting any better. It's high time to fixe them up or Ted might get worse. Infection is no joke!

Use Medkit:

• ??? +Ted isn't hurt anymore

Use Nothing:

• Too bad. If we don't fix these wounds up soon, things might get much worse. +Ted get sick

Ted And Dolores' Events:

To have these events, Ted and Dolores must be in the shelter.

Roadside Picnic:

Life in a shelter can really put a strain on personal relationships. Privacy is a forgotten, impossible concept now, so even if you wanted to clear the air... well, even the most private conversations are guaranteed an unwanted audience. Dolores and Ted could really use a quiet moment to talk in peace. How about a picnic in a nearby park?

Say Yes:

• Nothing like a romantic outing to a ruined, post-apocalyptic park, complete with giggling and whispering sweet nothings over a shared can of tomato soup. At least that's how Ted remembers it. Dolores is unwilling to comment, but they both feel better today, so clearly whatever happened lifted their spirits. +Increases Ted and Dolores' sanity

Say No:

• ??? +Decreases Ted and Dolores' sanity

The Bucket Debacle:

Ted and Dolores argue about everything lately. Today's heated argument is about who should empty the bucket in the corner. Both of them swear it's not their turn. Somebody has to cave in and do it. But who?

Choose Ted:

1. Dolores admitted it was her turn to take out the bucket, but said she was feeling a little under the weather. Ted felt bad for her, and agreed to do it this time. In return, Dolores promised to laugh at Ted's jokes the whole evening. Heartwarming. +Increases Ted and Dolores' sanity
2. Ted's excuse for not taking out the bucket was back pain. Dolores didn't believe him, and nagged until he finally caved. He slipped and fell while carrying the heavy load and definitely hurt himself. +Ted gets hurt

Choose Dolores:

1. Dolores gave up and went outside to empty the bucket, but something was blocking the hatch from the top. It was a person. Either dead, or dead asleep. We rolled him off our doorstep and found some supplies in the process. +RANDOM +Decreases Dolores' sanity
2. Dolores could not take the stink anymore, and finally just took the matter - and the bucket - into her own hands. Ted felt guilty, and tried to help her, then they both slipped and... long story short, we had a lot of cleaning up to do, and some things could not be salvaged. -RANDOM

Choose Nobody:

• Neither Ted or Dolores caved. The bucket kept filling up, and the stench got worse and worse. Nobody is feeling particularly good right now... +Decreases everyone's sanity +Some characters can get sick

Jenny The Mutant:

(If Ted was sent on an expedition) Ted used to get along with most of the neighbors before the apocalypse, but especially with the lovely Jenny McMillan from around the corner. He neglected to mention he had met her during his voyage outside, and even promised to share some supplies with her! Dolores seems displeased by this. Should Ted share the supplies with Jenny?

Use Soup:

1. Dolores was livid, and insisted she go with Ted to give Jenny the supplies. Turns out poor Jenny 's husband perished when he left the shelter to grab his stamp collection, and was never seen again. Jenny's misfortune brought Dolores some peace, while our supplies guaranteed Jenny's children would have something to eat tonight. -1 Soup +Increases everyone's sanity
2. Dolores protested, but Ted sneaked out during the night. Turns out Dolores was right - not only have we lost some precious supplies, Ted also got his butt handed to him by a local teenage bandit gang. Dolores isn't even mad anymore. She found it amusing. -1 Soup +Ted gets hurt

Use Nothing:

• We don't have anything to spare. Stuff it, Jenny! That's for refusing to water our lawn that one time we went for a weekend out of town. Dolores seems satisfied, and Ted knows better than to keep bothering her. +Increases Dolores' sanity +Decreases Ted's sanity
• Jenny came over by herslef and banged on the shelter door. Even Dolores could not stay indifferent when she saw how the radioactive fallout had changed our neighbor. We ended up sharing some supplies. Jenny was grateful, but she overstayed her welcome by making offhanded comments about our interior decoration skills. That was rich, coming from a person with an additional leg growing out of her head! -1 Soup

Wedding Anniversary:

Seems like both Dolores and Ted have been keeping count, and today is their wedding anniversary! Oh, happy day. They both have prepared gifts and wishes for each other, and are eager to share them now. Who will open theirs first?

Choose Ted:

• ??? +1 Soup +Add "D+T" graffiti in the shelter

Choose Dolores:

• ??? +1 Soup +Add "D+T" graffiti in the shelter

Choose Nobody:

• ??? +Decreases Ted and Dolores' sanity

Ted and Mary Jane's Events:

To have these events, Ted and Mary Jane must be in the shelter.

Movie Characters:

Ted and Mary Jane have been butting heads lately. Today they got into an argument about movie characters, specifically, who would win in an ultimate battle - Snow White's seven dwarves or a group of wasteland bandits/Peter Pan or an army of mutated cockroaches/mutated Godzilla or mutated King Kong/Maleficient with an axe or the Wicked Queen with a rifle? It's a tricky one for sure, and the debate is heated. Who will come out on top?

Choose Mary Jane:

1. Mary Jane objectively won the debate with the sheer volume of her voice. A few hours into the shouting, Ted was begging her to stop, complaining about a nauseating headache. Mary Jane was satisfied. Ted less so. +Increases Mary Jane's sanity +Decreases Ted's sanity
2. Mary Jane used some small bits and pieces from her pocket to award points for arguments and track the debate's progress. Between the bunch of button, dust bunnies, and some little rocks, we found several rifle bullets! That discovery made Ted and Mary Jane finally drop the topic. +Ammo

Choose Ted:

1. Mary Jane was so confident about her case, she said she would bet a full soup can on it. In the end, Ted's argument were just stronger, and Mary Jane begrudgingly handed him a can. We're not sure whether to be grateful for it, or angry she was hiding it all along. +Soup
2. Ted covered his ears and loudly sang to himself, drowning out Mary Jane's excellent arguments. She escalated the situation by tossing some objects around, whether for emphasis or in an attempt to visually recreate the battle. No agreement was reached and some supplies have suffered. -RANDOM

Choose Nobody:

1. After hours of wild gestures, loud arguments, emotional rebuttals, and a few pie charts, Ted and Mary Jane finally decided it was impossible to figure out who would win. They shook hands and moved on, but it's clear the issue is still bugging them. +Decreases Ted and Mary Jane's sanity
2. Mary Jane and Ted went head-to-head for hours, exchanging anecdotes and intricate details from the lore of the movies under discussion. What looked like a fight to the entrained eye was actually entertainment to these two. Geeks! +Increases Ted and Mary Jane's sanity

Soup And Circuses:

The boredom and silence are overwhelming. Too bad we don't have a TV to keep us occupied... but maybe we could take advantage of some of our supplies and pretend they're props on a movie set?

Use Suitcase:

1. Ted and Mary Jane were reminded of their regular cinema trips, so they were happy to improvise scene for the rest of us. Ted was Marilyn and Mary Jane was the director, ordering him around. She was really strict about her artist vision, but Ted managed to deliver a performance so convincing, we forgot for a moment that he isn't a lovely, slim, blonde Hollywood star! +Increases Ted and Mary Jane's sanity
2. The suitcase was supposed to serve as a small podium. Ted and Mary Jane argued about who should stand on the podium and deliver a monologue in their improvised scene. Long story short, both of them stood on the top of the suitcase at the same time. Unfortunate. -Suitcase

Use Axe:

• Ted and Mary Jane used to be big cinema buffs before the apocalypse, so they instantly jumped on this idea. Mary Jane always complained "Singing' in the rain" lacks action, so they took the axe and improvised an extra scene. Very bloody. They insist the movie would have been way better if it had more axes in it. +Increases Ted and Mary Jane's sanity

Use Nothing:

• Ted and Mary Jane seemed let down, but we have more important thing to do than playing theater right now. +Decreases Ted and Mary Jane's sanity

Night Terrors:

Last night the whole shelter was woken up by Ted screaming bloody murder. He was terrified, shouting something about tentacles, radioactive mutants on top of his face. Turned out it was just Mary Jane stepping on his head in the dark. Ted took it very personalyt and demands medical care.

Use Medkit:

1. Mary Jane helped Ted patch up his injuries. They both look pretty content right now. All's well that ends well, and Ted's face has almost gone back to its usual shape and state by now. +Increases Ted and Mary Jane's sanity
2. Ted wouldn't allow anyone to patch him up, and spent some time rummaging through our first aid kit for something fitting to dress his self-diagnosed "lethal" injuries. In the end, he took a bunch of pills, covered himself with a few yards of bandage, and fell asleep. -Medkit +Decreases Ted's sanity

Use Nothing

1. Ted and Mary Jane refused to apologize and move on, and instead went straight into a state of paranoia. He seemed to think Mary Jane had it out for him, while Mary Jane claimed it was Ted's face that hit her foot and not the other way around. Looks like both of them will sleep with one eye open tonight. +Decreases Ted and Mary Jane's sanity
2. Mary Jane tried to apologize, but Ted wasn't having it. He kept lamenting about broken noses and cracked skulls, stumbling around the shelter and gesturing wildly, until he tripped over something and fell. Oh, hey, a soup can! That discovery calmed Ted right now. +Soup +Ted can get hurt

DIY (Approximate Reconstruction):

Mary Jane has been brooding all morning and Ted is determined to make her smile again, he thinks that manual work can change her mind, DIY, for example, what items can we leave in the hands of Ted and Mary Jane?

Use Boy Scout Handbook:

• ???

Use Rifle:

• ???

Use Radio:

• ???
  1. ??? +Ammo(Probably RANDOM)
  2. ???

Use Nothing:

• ???

Ted and Timmy's Events:

To have these events, Ted and Timmy must be in the shelter.

Loud Snoring:

Timmy claimed he couldn't sleep last night due to Ted's loud, incessant snoring. Ted angrily retaliated by marking quips about size of Timmy's ears, which enraged Timmy even more. He desperate for a solution. What can be done about this? +Timmy gets tired

Use Medkit:

• Wild-eyed, Timmy grabbed a bunch of bandages from the first aid to stuff his ears with.
  1. The thin layer of gauze was no match for Ted's snorling. Frenzied, Timmy tossed all the contents of the first aid kit on the floor in a mad hunt for sleeping pills. These finally did the trick. Timmy feels better now, but our first aid kit is a mess. -Medkit +Timmy rested
  2. He claimed the gauze stopped most of the noise. Enough to get some undisturbing sleep, at least. Timmy is feeling better this morning +Timmy rested

Use Checkerboard:

• Timmy eventually settled for jamming checker pieces into his ears. Not what the doctor would order, but it did the trick. He slept well, although one of the pieces is missing this morning. Is it still stuck in his ear? And more importantly, cen we still play checkers without it? -Checkerboard(Sometimes) +Timmy rested

Use Suitcase:

• Little Timmy squeezed almost perfectly into our small suitcase, where he drozen off. Whatever noises Ted might have been making, the sturdy suitcase proved almost sound proof, and Timmy finally got a good night's sleep. +Timmy rested
  • (Sometimes) Despite sleeping relatively well, Timmy is a bit sore. Might have something to do with the suicase's content that Timmy slept on. Could have at least emptied it first. +RANDOM

Use Nothing:

1. Timmy woke up surprisingly well-rested today. Turns out, all he had to do was roll Ted on his side, and the snoring ceased. Timmy is feeling noticeably better, and Ted promise to sleep on his side in the future. +Timmy rested
2. Timmy was even more miserable this morning, after another sleepless night due to Ted's snoring. The bags under his eyes speak for themselves. Ted is unwilling to comment, and he still won't even admit he snores. +Decreases Timmy's sanity
3. (If the Gas Mask is in the shelter) In a drastic turn of events, Timmy tied to put the gas mask on Ted's sleeping face to stop the relentless snoring.
   1. Somehow, it helped. Ted stopped snoring long enough for Timmy to finally doze off and get some rest. +Timmy rested
   2. Ted awoke with a scream, tore the mask off his face, and threw it against the wall. He accused Timmy of trying to assassinate him. They fought all night, and neither of them got much sleep. -Gas Mask +Decreases Ted and Timmy's sanity +Ted get tired

Charades:

Timmy is bored out of his mind, and he won't leave Ted alone. First, he wanted to play tag... now it's hide and seek, which are both terrible ideas for a small shelter like this. Ted is in a bad mood and just wants to be left alone, but Timmy isn't giving up. How about charades?

Yes:

1. This really wasn't the best match-up. One moment, Ted and Timmy were calmly writing down riddles, the next, they were screaming at each other, accusing the other of cheating. How do you even cheat at this game?! +Decreases Ted and Timmy's sanity
2. Charades is serious business, but we never suspected the game could be this violent. Ted could not guess any of Timmy's comic book character names, which just caused Timmy to mime and gesture more and more wildly. His flailing arms knocked a few things off the shelves before he finally gave up. -RANDOM

No:

1. Ted couldn't be convinced to play anything, so Timmy decided to train his hide and seek skills by himself. Looking for the best place to hide, he stumbled upon some misplaced supplies! +RANDOM
2. (If Mary Jane is in the shelter) Timmy looked hurt when Ted refused to play with him. He moped around until Mary Jane agreed to play with him for a while. That finally cheered him up. +Increases Timmy's sanity
3. Ted refused to play anything. Enraged, Timmy dramatically tried to storm out the shelter, but the hatch got stuck halfway. By time we managed to finally close it, everyone had breathed in a bunch of stinky, radioactive air. Nice one, Timmy. How do you mime "radiation poisoning"? +Some characters can get sick

Trivia

• When Ted is insane for too long, his sock puppet will convince him to leave the shelter.
• Ted's facial hair will grow throughout time from a stubble to a lumberjack beard and the beard shaving event might trigger when the beard is fully grown.
• If Ted goes crazy, it will eventually lead to him destroying the Map, Water Bottle, a Soup Can, or the Gas Mask.
• Ted is actually a very caring Father/Husband, as shown in one of the insane events where he "protects" his family by boxing the Gas Mask, subsequently breaking it.
• Ted is one of the three characters in the original game that age. The others are Timmy and Mary Jane (who have birthdays). Dolores' hair grows in the remaster.
• If Ted is the only one in the fallout shelter, he will go insane on day 2. You can increase his sanity back to normal with events effectively "resetting" his timer on leaving the shelter, but Ted will go crazy again the next day every time he reaches sanity again.
• If there is an option for an event, and there is no option to choose a person to do it, it will always be Ted who completes the event.
• If Ted or Dolores are not in the fallout shelter while everyone else is, it will be an instant game over as Timmy and Mary Jane heavily rely on the adults to keep the family together and help with situations.
• Ted can survive an unusually long time without eating any Soup Cans. This may be due to his slightly Overweight physique.

• According to one of the DLC countdown posts, the Suitcase presumably belongs to Ted's great grandfather.
• Ted is allergic to cats, as shown that he might get sick if Sharikov is allowed to come to the shelter.
• Ted is the only character that always has his legs in the same position, no matter his status. (Unless if he is dead).
• After death, There is a chance Ted's skeleton will "transform" into a blue-colored-robotic skeleton, with his eyes showing out of the sockets (As of now, the cause for that is unknown. Possible case is other family members insanity if applicable). This change will be undone the day after, but it might return across different days of the same run. This might be a reference to the developers, "Robot Gentleman".
• Ted's 3D model contains a total of 40 bones.
• Ted has a driver's license, as shown on the event where Ted searches where his car is parked.
• If you do not bring Ted when scavenging as Dolores, there is a chance he will survive and can enter your shelter. However, he will typically come back injured and crazy.
• Ted can grow his hair in 60 Seconds! Reatomized. The hair is longer and more messy.
• Ted is the fastest character to age. He grows a stubble on Day 2 and his hair becomes slightly unkempt.
• In 60 Parsecs! using the sock puppet in the "Throw an Epic Party!" event has the chance of showing Ted's name. This is the same with the other family members.
• He is noticeably shorter in the first promo and concept art, as he is around half the height of Dolores, while in the final game, he is much taller. This can be seen in the Reatomized! trailer.

• With a padlock inside the shelter (and not with him on an expedition), Ted is the most likely to succeed when alone in the shelter on an expedition.

Gallery

Game Screenshots

Ted's facial hair starting to grow.

Ted's facial hair in middle progress of growth.

Normal Ted

Tired Ted.

Insane Ted.

Sick Ted.

Dead Ted.

Ted's corpse as a robot.

Ted's 3D model, seen on the scavenging part.

Ted's 3D model in a T-Pose.

Sick, fatigued, full beard and crazy Ted.

Insane and tired Ted.

Sick and tired Ted.

Sick, injured and insane Ted.

Insane and Fatigued Ted.

Ted failing to get to the fallout shelter in time in the scavenging part.

A front view of Ted's 3D Model, seen in the scavenging part.

Insane, full beard, injured and fatigued Ted.

Ted in the trailer for the 60 Seconds! Nintendo Switch port.

Ted's in-game textures (low resolution version)

Ted's in-game character sprites

Ted's model when Dolores is scavenging.

Ted's Model when Dolores is scavenging (First Person)

Official Art

Ted listening to noises from the walls in the DLC countdown (11).

Ted opening the door to a mutant in the 60 Seconds! DLC countdown (10).

Timmy and Ted packing supplies in a suitcase in the 60 Seconds! DLC countdown (6).

Delores, Timmy, and Mary Jane surprising Ted.

Ted’s concept art

Ted in concept art of the bunker

Ted front of their house

Ted carrying Delores through an irradiated lake.

Pancake biting Ted’s pants.

Ted playing on console

Ted driving, looking in the rear view mirror.

Ted with a plate in hand.

Ted holding up Delores at a lake.

Ted and his family standing in front of their house.

Insane Ted in a promo image for Reatomized.

Ted holding a fire cracker.

Ted in Christmas sale promo.

Ted behind Timmy in a picture with his family and the 60 Parsecs! Cast

Ted cooking.

Ted in the drivers seat of a bus.

Pancake running to Ted.

Ted getting a bowl of soup.

Ted being picked up by mutant Mary Jane.

Ted at the lake.

Achievement

Lumbersexual:

The achievement "Lumbersexual" can be unlocked by managed to shave Ted's beard in the event "Shave Time!"

For more information about the achievements, go on this page.